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R&B Singles

Celebrate National Masturbation Month with Kelly Ash’s latest single

Ash is back with “I Want a Love that Will Change My Mind,” a sultry, low-tempo r&b jam that begs for a finger flickin’ good time.

Release date: May 14, 2021

Dan Ray May 14, 2021
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Celebrate National Masturbation Month with Kelly Ash’s latest single May 14, 2021

Raised by a single mother in the suburbs of Detroit, Dan discovered an early passion for singing, songwriting, and the arts as a whole. She got her BA in English and music at the University of Michigan, where she reported for the school’s paper, The Michigan Daily. She worked as a Senior News Reporter on the government beat, transitioned to arts writing, and eventually became the managing editor of the social media department. She moved to Seattle in 2017. After losing her job during the COVID-19 pandemic and discouraged about the lack of press surrounding Seattle’s music scene, Dan made the decision to turn Dan’s Tunes, a fully fledged music journalism website focused on showcasing the Seattle area’s musicians, into its own startup. There’s so much music happening in the city that spawned Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and Jimi Hendrix — among others — and Dan’s Tunes is determined to find and expose those outstanding acts. The goal is to have satellites in every major US city, uplifting diverse and compelling voices and helping music communities thrive. In 2020, Dan was featured in the Seattle Times’s year-end music critic poll. Other than her musical endeavors (singing, playing ukulele, and auditioning for American Idol four times before the age of 24) Ray is passionate about food and education around the American food system, and she’s also a large proponent of eliminating the stigma around mental health. Ray loves cats, especially her own, who is named Macaulay Culkin (but she’s a lady).

Photo by Nikki Barron

Thanks to Bill Clinton, May is International Masturbation Month. This is only partly true, but I couldn’t resist that opening sentence. Here’s the full story, according to Wired:

In 1994, then-Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders (who was the first Black person to hold the office) suggested masturbation be a part of sex education. Clinton fired her. (I swear, the more I learn about government in the 90s, the more I understand why Millennials are so fucked up.) In protest, sex toy retailer Good Vibrations named May as National Masturbation Month, and it’s since expanded internationally because, you know, people all across the world like to touch themselves.

And when they do that, they want the right soundtrack. Enter: Kelly Ash.

After dropping three HAIM-esque singles throughout 2019 and 2020, Ash is back with a sultry, low-tempo r&b jam that begs for a finger flickin’ good time. “I Want a Love that Will Change My Mind,” featuring Andrew Vait (SISTERS, Little Wins) on guitar and backup vocals, is open and luscious. Ash, who teaches songwriting at Cornish, floats above a mix of understated organ chords from Dave Dalton (Macklemore) and shimmering, brushed drums from Brad Boal (Nearly Dan). You can, quite literally, hear the space between Boal’s brush strands as they tap on his snare. They’re like that first, questioning touch on your own inner thigh, softly grabbing on and letting go in a slow, steady rhythm.

Ash’s lyrics map the idea of missing that “big love” as she gets older (let’s raise a glass to women above 30) and of feeling the pressure to settle down. In the chorus, she croons, “I just hope I haven’t lived through the best part….I wanna feel like I’ve just begun instead of running out of time.”  It’s a pensive yearning, but it’s also a quietly confident promise to hold herself in esteem, to hold out for that love that will change her mind. Her voice is succulent — nurturing — as each word is caressed, lifted tenderly from her mouth in a sexy lullaby to herself.

“I was thinking a lot about how so many people, and women especially, feel like we end up in relationships where things are pretty good, or even quite good, but something just isn’t right,” said Ash. “We’re tempted to ignore that gut feeling that this isn’t the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with.”

The bad news is that relationships are complicated. The good news is that there’s only one person you actually have to spend the rest of your life with: yourself. And there’s no better way to celebrate that than with a little self love, courtesy of Kelly Ash, Jocelyn Elders, and (because I have to) Bill Clinton.

So wash your hands, grab your favorite toy (for the ladies, I highly recommend Dame Wellness. Their blog is the most comprehensive sex-education resource I’ve ever found, and their vibes have more battery power than my iPhone), and put this track on to get busy with yo’ bad self.

P.S. If you need guidance on how to touch yourself, check out these tips for people with vaginas and these tips for people with penises.

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9.1

Vocals

 8.0/10

Production

 9.0/10

female empowerment

 10.0/10

let-me-get-it-on vibes

 9.5/10

Comments

Raised by a single mother in the suburbs of Detroit, Dan discovered an early passion for singing, songwriting, and the arts as a whole. She got her BA in English and music at the University of Michigan, where she reported for the school’s paper, The Michigan Daily. She worked as a Senior News Reporter on the government beat, transitioned to arts writing, and eventually became the managing editor of the social media department. She moved to Seattle in 2017. After losing her job during the COVID-19 pandemic and discouraged about the lack of press surrounding Seattle’s music scene, Dan made the decision to turn Dan’s Tunes, a fully fledged music journalism website focused on showcasing the Seattle area’s musicians, into its own startup. There’s so much music happening in the city that spawned Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and Jimi Hendrix — among others — and Dan’s Tunes is determined to find and expose those outstanding acts. The goal is to have satellites in every major US city, uplifting diverse and compelling voices and helping music communities thrive. In 2020, Dan was featured in the Seattle Times’s year-end music critic poll. Other than her musical endeavors (singing, playing ukulele, and auditioning for American Idol four times before the age of 24) Ray is passionate about food and education around the American food system, and she’s also a large proponent of eliminating the stigma around mental health. Ray loves cats, especially her own, who is named Macaulay Culkin (but she’s a lady).